2015 was a ridiculously hard year for me and also for my little family. Looking back now, it’s hard to focus on all the positives because I’m so weighed down and clouded by the negatives. However, I know they are there and if I take a few extra moments, some wonderful memories come flooding back. One thing I can definitely say is: I have learnt a fair few essential life lessons during 2015 -about life, friends and carrying on!
- The first major life lesson learnt in 2015 was that you can outgrow your friends. Or even worse; they outgrow you. This was a huge wake up call to me and it’s definitely a kind of hurt I don’t think I’d ever really experienced before. It almost felt like betrayal. I thought the friends I’d had for the past 5 years or so were the friends that I was at least going to stay in touch with for the next 10, 15 years. The ones I’d be inviting to my wedding, or to Luke’s birthday parties. But sadly, this isn’t the case and having to deal with those feelings of betrayal and then rejection was a huge moment for me. Thankfully, with some support from my lovely other half, I came out the other side a much better, more confident person. I also realised I don’t have to stand in someone’s shadow to get noticed.
- That being said; being lonely sucks. It’s a really, really crappy feeling and the effect on your mental health can be absolutely overpowering. I have gone through a lot of loss this past year and realising that you’ve got no one left to talk to or to support you through it is a sobering moment. But you can’t dwell on it!
- Being ‘me’ is not so bad. People move on and that’s okay really – other people still like you. And I learned to really like myself. I’m witty, funny and I’m not as bad a person, or as bad a mum as people have made me out to be! I definitely learnt to be comfortable in my own skin and to stand up for what I believe. I don’t shy away from expressing my opinions on topics that I’m passionate about, I’ve tried to develop myself as a person and thrown myself into a bunch of hobbies that I’ve really enjoyed and best of all, I have realised, like I mentioned before, I don’t need to be someone’s best friend to get noticed, or agree for the sake of peace, or to stand in someone’s shadow. That’s a truly liberating feeling!
- Sometimes the happiest moments of my life are the really simple ones. The lazy Sunday lie ins; Luke’s laughter and his beautiful, amazing grin; watching the sun set; going for long, slow paced walks; finding something funny and random in a shop; getting a snapchat from a friend you really miss; crying at the ending of a really good book; going to the cinema with a huge bunch of people you love and the biggest one for me was, as usual, Christmas. I don’t care about anything other than my dad getting my fiancé drunk, my step mother telling him to eat more food and him kicking my step brothers bums at Mario Kart on the Wii! Little things are the best things.
- If you want something, keep practising and you’ll get there in the end – basically, persistence is key! When I lost all my friends and felt rubbish about myself, I throw everything I had into hobbies. I tried a whole bunch of things – mainly crafty things. I’m not actually a very crafty person, I like to try (too much!) but I have no real artistic flare at all. Until I tried to teach myself how to crochet, and I’m really thankful I did. Crochet, along with being a a bit obsessed with fish keeping (it entailed a surprising amount of research, they’re surprisingly expensive pets to have!) really got me through some tough moments. I kept going and came out of my little rut a batter, stronger person. There’s something therapeutic about trying again and again to get something right and then finally achieving it!
So those are the big five life lessons that I learned the hard way in 2015! I’d love to hear what you feel you’ve come away from 2015 with, let me know!