Dating A Gamer: How To Make Sure You Get Quality Time Together

*Collaborative post.

Dating a gamer is great for so many reasons, but it’s not for the faint hearted. My other half used to joke that if he’s at home playing games, at least I know what he’s up to. Although very true, and a joke that was funny at the time, he neglected to point out that he might as well be out and about because I still wouldn’t get quality time with him. It’s easy for gamers to fall into the relationship-challenging routine of popping online for an hour or so, then in a blink of an eye, realising that 7 hours have flown by and your significant other is upset because they’ve been ignored all day. 

Sometimes gaming can take over a little bit, and other parts of your life get pushed to the sidelines. Most times, people don’t even realise it is happening. These are my top tips that I’ve put together through personal experience, on how to make sure that gamer couples still get that quality time together. So if you’re dating a gamer, the next few tips should come in handy.

picture of anps4 controller for a blog post on dating a gamer

Find a game you can play together.

When you first start dating a gamer, you may think that playing games together will be easy and simple, however finding common ground in gaming can be difficult. That being said, it’s also a great way for both parties to communicate, work together, have a laugh and enjoy doing an activity together. It definitely helps if you’re able to do this in the same room. My fiancé and I used to have a smaller TV that we’d bring into the living room and we’d connect our other console up to that so we could both play and talk at the same time. We love playing strategy games together, a long term favourite is the good old fashioned Age Of Empires.

There are loads of co-op games that you can play together, both online or via LAN. Some of our favourites are ARK (just don’t kill each other), Elder Scrolls Online, World Of Warcraft, Halo and Call Of Duty.

Talking It Through

Communication is, of course, a main pillar in any relationship. If you used a dating site for gamers to find your perfect match, it’s likely you spent loads of time chatting about what games you love and learning new things about each other. After finding the perfect person, it’s important that communication still remains a big part of your relationship. Gaming is most often referred to by gamers as a way to escape the pressures and stresses of the daily grind, and it’s easy to become too immersed in the fantasy. Communicating effectively with your partner is key when it comes to spending quality time together and is imperative when dating a gamer.

Attend gaming events, conventions and expos together.

If you’re dating a gamer and looking for a way to spend quality time together, gaming events, conventions and expos are a definite must!

Gaming events are such good fun and I really recommend them – I have really fond memories of camping at the Insomnia Gaming Festival! They also offer a great chance to play new games as often developers bring first-play exclusives for gamers to trial! You and your partner can meet like minded people, challenge others in gaming tournaments, and they even host board game competitions if ‘classic’ gaming is more up your street. Gaming festivals, events and expos really do have something for everyone and make the ideal ‘date’ for gamers, especially if you go for the weekend and camp.

Fandom conventions such as Comic Con are heaven for gamers and fans belonging to all manner of games, shows, movies and more. Conventions are amazing for making friends, doing couples cosplay and discovering new interests. Not only that, but you can get your hands on some unique merch that’s only available at the events.

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Set boundaries and gaming routines. 

This was probably one of the most helpful solutions that worked for us. When chatting on dating sites or on a gamer dater app, you might not have thought that far into the future and discussed dividing your time between gaming and your relationship.

Both myself and my partner love gaming and we’d both end up wanting to play whenever we got the downtime. This eagerness was exacerbated by our parental responsibilities and a very limited amount of free time. Escaping into the world of gaming worked for a little while, but as we’ve spoken about before, it’s so easy to get sucked into the gaming world and forget about real life! 

We found that working out a routine for gaming helped immensely. Maybe once or twice a week, each person in the relationship could have an evening gaming while the other one cooked, went out, or did their own thing. The rest of the days were exclusively for ‘couple’ time and we’d cook together and make the effort to sit down and discuss the week’s events, how we’re feeling and anything that was on our minds. 

This method of sharing time, allowing each other to carry on doing the things they love, and setting date nights is what worked best for us. Having a routine meant that no one felt like they hadn’t had enough time to play, or that their partner had more time to game than them.

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3 comments

  • I think having a routine really helps with this kind of thing too. Even though it’s difficult to see each other during the Welsh lockdown at times, we can always schedule a weekly video call or chat – it all helps at the moment.

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