Becoming a mum is one of the greatest experiences in life. It absolutely made me as a person, despite suffering through PND for around a year. It made me appreciate life a lot more and filled my heart with a kind of love I didn’t know was possible. However, there’s a lonely and tiring side of motherhood. You often see people light-heartedly joking about it on Facebook – all those “motherhood is a full time, unpaid job” statuses. It is true. As mothers, we invest everything we have into our families and, as a result, we leave very little time for us to focus on ourselves.
In the grand scheme of things, that can have a detrimental effect on our happiness. I love looking after my kids and doing things as a family, but I am conscious that I am more than just a mum. I am a fully grown woman. I have a personality, I have aspirations, I am capable of doing great things. We all are.
Losing yourself to motherhood is all too easy and that’s why going ‘out out’ is so important.
*Post contains items that were sent to me free of charge in return for a review. All thoughts and images are my own.
The Importance Of Going ‘Out Out’ As A Mum
There are loads of benefits for mums that come with letting your hair down and heading out the door for a few hours. If you’re long overdue a night off, let me talk you through just a handful of the reasons you should schedule something in as soon as you can.
Find Yourself Again
It’s so important for mums to find themselves again! I love being ‘Mum’, but I’m also Rachael – a girlfriend, a friend, a sister, a daughter. It’s really easy to fall into the trap of being mum 24/7, with motherhood completely taking over your life. That is simply not healthy. Being a mum means you need to be on top form and how are you going to be on top form if you’re not looking after your own mental health? Each and every one of us needs to express our individuality and that’s not always possible when you’re running around with wet wipes or comforting poorly babies. Going out, letting yourself relax and having a few laughs is remarkably beneficial.
Fix Your Social Life
Human beings crave love and attention; we NEED friends, family and lovers. So many mums find that they lose touch with their pre-baby friends, but that is perfectly normal. Your entire life has shifted and your priorities are now completely different. Your little person depends 100% on you, you can’t just sack them off for a Friday night down the pub. But when you do feel like you could sneak away for an evening, reconnecting with those friends can be a lifesaver. I have mum friends and I have friends who have no children – I try to make sure that I meet up with both sets of friends when I can. I also make a point of checking in with them as often as I can, whether that’s a comment on their Instagram photo, a text or a phone call. Having friends you can turn to is vitally important and reconnecting with old friends could make you feel a lot happier.
If you decide to go back to work after your maternity leave, inviting a few colleagues out for a drink or a coffee could be a great way of reintegrating yourself into the social circle again!
Boost Your Confidence
It’s no secret that your pre-pregnancy body is very different to your post-pregnancy body and this can have a knock on effect when it comes to your self esteem. Learn to be confident again and accept your beautiful body by treating yourself to a nice night out. Get yourself all dolled up and wear something that makes you feel glorious. I was recently sent a gorgeous dress from Pink Clove which makes me feel really good about myself. The clothing from Pink Clove is designed for plus sized (16 – 28) ladies, so it’s a great choice for women who have just had babies and are maybe struggling to love the skin they’re in.
Wear Something Pretty
I was sent a gorgeous wrap around skater dress in khaki and I think it’s immensely flattering. The wrap around aspect completely hides the wobbly bits I don’t like and the loose fabric flows freely so no one can see my mummy tummy! I also love that it has long sleeves; I know I’m not the only woman who loses confidence when the arms are exposed! The fabric is light and stretchy which means there’s not restriction on movement and it’s breathable. There’s nothing worse that wearing a dress out that’s stiff or has no give. Who wants to go dancing without being able to move around freely, or even worse, who wants to sit down at a table and feel their tummy pushing tightly against the fabric of their dress? Not me!
Best of all, teamed up with some tights and a pair of black ankle boots, the wrap around skater dress from Pink Clove makes me feel really good about myself! I look in the mirror and I think, “yeah, I look good!” That’s how you should feel and that’s why ditching the ‘mum uniform’ for the night is a brilliant feeling.
A direct result of you making a little bit of time for yourself is simple: a happier, more relaxed parent.
All of the points I’ve made above affect your mental health, confidence and self worth. Remembering who you are as a person is immensely important and it’s something that everyone, not just mothers, need to focus on from time to time. It’s important for not only mums, but dads too. Getting jealous of your other half having “time off” from parenting is natural and it’s something that a lot of parents have experienced, however there’s no reason for you both not to figure out something between yourselves to ensure you both have equal opportunities to unwind.
Don’t ever fell guilty for having a night out.
It’s so easy to lose yourself in parenthood and feel like anything you do that doesn’t directly benefit your child is wrong. That is a load of rubbish. Your own happiness is vitally important to the happiness of your children. Therefore, boost your confidence, have some fun with your friends and let yourself be ‘you’ every now and then!
When was the last time you gave yourself the night off? Whether it be with friends, family or even as a lovely couples date night? Let me know in the comments what you got up to, or, if you feel inspired, what you’d like to plan in the near future.
Other Posts You Might Enjoy
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Loving My Postpartum Body
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Oh yes. How we completely forgot about our self and give our 100% to family all of the time. I love your point ‘ wear something pretty’ – whenever I go shopping I straight away go to kids section and buy so much stuffs for them. Now I need good pair of clothes for myself : ) thank you so much.
Author
You’re so welcome! I love dressing in something nice. I tend to go a bit overboard these days though as it happens so rarely!
We definitely need time to be ourselves and not just mum. I rarely go out as don’t really have any friends locally to go out with. On the odd time we get a date night I do like making an effort and being me instead of mummy!!
Author
Me too, I am in exactly the same boat. I don’t have a lot of friends so going out out isn’t always a sure thing due to conflicting schedules. but sometimes we manage to fit in a evening at the pub tc.
I have not been out with friends in such a long time – really must rectify this
Kara recently posted…Silent Sunday – 17th February 2019
Author
Hopefully you can find the time to meet up for a few hours. 🙂
I have a confession I haven’t been out since August! I’m so terrible at going out out! But there are some many benefits to going out out. I need to book one as soon as.
Author
I don’t think that’s too bad…we all have lives and responsibilities!
I’m sorry to hear about your PND, but I am glad you have written this as it will definitely help mums out there 🙂 x
Olivia jade recently posted…The ultimate pizza toast!
Author
Aw, thanks so much.
i honestly cannot remember the last time i was out – i need to do it again to find myself again and just have fun with my friends x
Author
I’m sure you’ll feel much better for it. 🙂
Sometimes I take the easy option and stay in, as I feel I can’t be bothered. But when I do actually make the effort I really do enjoy myself and find myself craving another night out.
Sabina Green recently posted…Top Notch Benefits of Including Wall Mixer Taps in Bathrooms
Author
t is hard when you’re a parent as you’re always blooming knackered. Sometimes staying in is okay, but sometimes you need to push yourself.
Yes! It’s massively important to get out, out because we’re people too, as well as being Mums and Wives! It’s also great to just let go when you’re out with your mates, too.
Author
Yessss, remembering that you’re actually a person is so important and necessary for good mental health.
Going out on the town with friends is a sure way to get back into the social and boosting one’s confidence.
Anosa recently posted…CHIANG RAI TRAVEL GUIDE |9 Things TO DO
Author
Yes, totally. 🙂
Totally agree it’s very important to get out and socialise with friends so you don’t lose your own identity. We should always take a little time out for ourselves and not feel guilty.
Author
100% Sometimes I feel guilty but I know if I am happier then I’ll be a happier mum.
I really struggle to find the time and childcare to be able to go ‘out out’. To get around this I’ve been having breakfast dates with friends once the children are at school/preschool
Author
It can be so difficult, can’t it? I would love to move away, but I only have one babysitter and I’m scared to move in case I end up with no help whatsoever. That’s a great way of still having a bit of me time 😀
All my friends who are mums always talk about needing to take some time for themsleves, and going out out is great for that x
Author
Definitely agree with you there.
Amen to that! I’m going out tomorrow for a dinner with friends and I’m really looking forward to it!
Author
I hope you had a lovely time.
My mummy is out out for the first time in months tomorrow night and can’t wait! Slightly nearvous though as it’s a black tie event. Eeeeek!
Author
Ooooh black tie, very swanky!
I’ve gone through stages in my life when I haven’t bothered to go out and then have had some lovely nights out with my friends. I have always felt so much better when I have gone out and let my hair down!
Stephanie recently posted…Me and Mine – February
Author
I’m exactly the same!
Yes yes yes! It is so important, I go out at least once a month and it does me the word of good x
Sonia recently posted…Gorgeous Mother’s Day Gifts
Author
Very much so, strange how you don’t realise how vital it is until you’re missing it.
I love heading out with friends, it always picks me up and makes me feel happier.
nichola – Globalmouse recently posted…What my children say about…Morocco
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It’s certainly good for your mental attitude, isn’t it?
I totally agree with this and we try to have mums nights out at least once a month if possible, even if it’s just a drink or a meal.
Author
That’s a lovely idea. 🙂