Becoming a mum is one of the greatest experiences in life. It absolutely made me as a person, despite suffering through PND for around a year. It made me appreciate life a lot more and filled my heart with a kind of love I didn’t know was possible. However, there’s a lonely and tiring side of motherhood. You often see people light-heartedly joking about it on Facebook – all those “motherhood is a full time, unpaid job” statuses. It is true. As mothers, we invest everything we have into our families and, as a result, we leave very little time for us to focus on ourselves.
In the grand scheme of things, that can have a detrimental effect on our happiness. I love looking after my kids and doing things as a family, but I am conscious that I am more than just a mum. I am a fully grown woman. I have a personality, I have aspirations, I am capable of doing great things. We all are.
Losing yourself to motherhood is all too easy and that’s why going ‘out out’ is so important.
*Post contains items that were sent to me free of charge in return for a review. All thoughts and images are my own.
The Importance Of Going ‘Out Out’ As A Mum
There are loads of benefits for mums that come with letting your hair down and heading out the door for a few hours. If you’re long overdue for a night off, let me talk you through just a handful of the reasons you should schedule something in as soon as you can.
Find Yourself Again
It’s so important for mums to find themselves again! I love being ‘Mum’, but I’m also Rachael – a girlfriend, a friend, a sister, a daughter. It’s really easy to fall into the trap of being a mum 24/7, with motherhood completely taking over your life. That is simply not healthy. Being a mum means you need to be on top form and how are you going to be on top form if you’re not looking after your own mental health? Each and every one of us needs to express our individuality and that’s not always possible when you’re running around with wet wipes or comforting poorly babies. I’ve found that going out, heading to comedy shows near me, or having a few drinks with the girls, is remarkably beneficial.
Fix Your Social Life
Human beings crave love and attention; we NEED friends, family and lovers. So many mums find that they lose touch with their pre-baby friends, but that is perfectly normal. Your entire life has shifted and your priorities are now completely different. Your little person depends 100% on you, you can’t just sack them off for a Friday night down the pub. But when you do feel like you could sneak away for an evening, reconnecting with those friends can be a lifesaver. I have mum friends and I have friends who have no children – I try to make sure that I meet up with both sets of friends when I can. I also make a point of checking in with them as often as I can, whether that’s a comment on their Instagram photo, a text or a phone call. Having friends you can turn to is vitally important and reconnecting with old friends could make you feel a lot happier.
If you decide to go back to work after your maternity leave, inviting a few colleagues out for a drink or a coffee could be a great way of reintegrating yourself into the social circle again!
Boost Your Confidence
It’s no secret that your pre-pregnancy body is very different to your post-pregnancy body and this can have a knock on effect when it comes to your self-esteem.
Learn to be confident again and accept your beautiful body by treating yourself to a nice night out. Get yourself all dolled up and wear something that makes you feel glorious. I was recently sent a gorgeous dress from Pink Clove which makes me feel really good about myself. The clothing from Pink Clove is designed for plus sized (16 – 28) ladies, so it’s a great choice for women who have just had babies and are maybe struggling to love the skin they’re in.
Wear Something Pretty
I was sent a gorgeous wrap around skater dress in khaki and I think it’s immensely flattering. The wrap around aspect completely hides the wobbly bits I don’t like and the loose fabric flows freely so no one can see my mummy tummy! I also love that it has long sleeves; I know I’m not the only woman who loses confidence when the arms are exposed! The fabric is light and stretchy which means there’s not restriction on movement and it’s breathable. There’s nothing worse that wearing a dress out that’s stiff or has no give. Who wants to go dancing without being able to move around freely, or even worse, who wants to sit down at a table and feel their tummy pushing tightly against the fabric of their dress? Not me!
Best of all, teamed up with some tights and a pair of black ankle boots, the wrap around skater dress from Pink Clove makes me feel really good about myself! I look in the mirror and I think, “yeah, I look good!” That’s how you should feel and that’s why ditching the ‘mum uniform’ for the night is a brilliant feeling.
A direct result of you making a little bit of time for yourself is simple: a happier, more relaxed parent.
All the points I’ve made above affect your mental health, confidence and self-worth. Remembering who you are as a person is immensely important and it’s something that everyone, not just mothers, need to focus on from time to time. It’s important for not only mums but dads too. Getting jealous of your other half having “time off” from parenting is natural and it’s something that a lot of parents have experienced, however, there’s no reason for you both not to figure out something between yourselves to ensure you both have equal opportunities to unwind.
Don’t ever feel guilty for having a night out.
It’s so easy to lose yourself in parenthood and feel like anything you do that doesn’t directly benefit your child is wrong. That is a load of rubbish. Your own happiness is vitally important to the happiness of your children. Therefore, boost your confidence, have some fun with your friends and let yourself be ‘you’ every now and then!
When was the last time you gave yourself the night off? Whether it be with friends, family or even as a lovely couples date night? Let me know in the comments what you got up to, or, if you feel inspired, what you’d like to plan in the near future.