Surviving Mother’s Day With An Absent Mum
Hello lovelies, this is a really spontaneous and impromptu post, but I really wanted to write something, whether it gets read or not. 🙂
Today I want to talk about my personal experiences with Mother’s Day. I suppose the title of this post is rather ominous and it’s worth mentioning that my mother is still around, I just haven’t talked to her for 8 years now. [EDIT: I totally changed the title, as the previous one was Surviving Mother’s Day Without A Mum] I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even know about Luke! But I do have friends who’s mother’s have sadly passed away. This time of year, you see so many mum’s making cards for their children’s grandma’s and celebrating things with their mums and all the buzz around gifts, spa retreats and the like. All of this is lovely. Honestly, it’s so nice to see people appreciating their mums – whether they’re a parent or not. But sometimes, it’s not so easy.
Without going into too much detail, for various reasons, I don’t talk to my mum anymore. That is totally my choice and I do understand that. But there’s no relationship there, no trust, no nothing. Therefore, it’s a no go. Obviously she feels the same, as she has never once tried to contact me since I was 15 and left home. Well, actually I came home and received her subtle message when I found out she’d changed the locks on me while I was at my first day back at school after the summer holidays. So, since then, Mothering Sunday hasn’t been the best of days for me – it’s depressing and I just seem to get a bit down.
Now that I’m a mother myself of course, there’s a new, happy energy around the day. I should feel blessed and forget my past and accept the wonderful life I have created and my wonderful family. But I just can’t seem to shake the grump.
However, over the years, I am pleased to say that it is only a grump. That’s it. I don’t feel psychotic, or hysterical or crazy or angry towards the world. Just a little bit grumbly.
And that’s okay!
Obviously, this blog post is unlikely to appeal to many but there is one thing I have learnt over the years that I still tell myself now, even though I am a mother myself:
The emotions and feelings you have; they’re okay. They’re normal – you’re allowed to feel that way! Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. They’re unhelpful and ignorant and you should ignore them.
So, I would just like to end by saying – how ever you feel this Mother’s Day:
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| Picture from www.yourdailypositivity.com |
Lukeosaurus And Me
Rachael is a 31 year old mum to 10 year old Luke and 5 year old Oscar. She lives in England and writes about family life, crafts, recipes, parenting wins(and fails), as well as travel, days out, fashion and living the frugal lifestyle.
8 Comments
www.mummyofboygirltwins.com
I’m really sorry you feel this way. It’s good that you’re not too bitter but it’s OK to feel a bit grumpy about it. I hope that you enjoy your day, with your family. Jess x
Rachael Robinson
It’s okay – i’m not bitter. Just a bit of a grumpy bum. Thank you, lovely! x
Jenny Eaves
Sorry to hear you had a rubbish relationship with your mum. But at least you get to build a fantastic one with your son and start your own mother’s day traditions. Glad you’re just grumpy and nit psychotic! Hope you had a lovely day with your family. Xxx
Rachael Robinson
It’s really lovely to have something positive to associate with Mother’s Day and I love being able to create new, happy memories to replace the old ones. Thank you, you too, my love. Thank you for reading. xxx
Rebecca Gibbs
I’m so sorry you feel sad and im sorry you had such a bad relationship with your mum! I know with mine nothing ever goes right and we fight a lot of the time too! I’m so glad you can learn from her mistakes and provide your son an amazing mother! I hope you had a lovely day! xx
http://rxbxcca.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/spoon-beauty-tricks.html
Rachael Robinson
Thank you lovely, that means a lot! I am definitely motivated as a mother to give Luke the best life I can and be as different from my mum as is possible! I had a very nice, relaxed day and only mildly grumpy, so that’s a plus! 😛 Thank you for reading. xx
amy cooper
sorry you feel sad about things and the relationship with you mums but its great ou have a amazing bond with your son i love that saying as well its definitely something to remember when ever you are having a low day! thanks for linking up to #sundaystars
Rachael Robinson
Thank you, lovely. 🙂 I do often find that when i’m feeling a bit down in the dumps about things, remembering what a wonderful boy I have created and what a wonderful family I have really cheers me up. Thank you for reading. xx